Grooms should participate in their Weddings
Posted 8 months, 3 weeks ago at 5:23 pm. Add a comment
This post stemmed from an earlier one “Wedding Dos and Dont’s for Guests” and I hope this helps out some men out there. Gone are the days where men just rent a tux, pay for wedding, and show up to say “I DO.” The Modern Man is more into fashion these days and Weddings are as much his day as Hers. Actually, I believe that men always wanted to voice their opinions at their weddings but feared being called un-manly. It’s a new day! I hope these tips and tricks can steer some in the right directions. It should at least tell your Brides that “yes indeed, men have a right and should be included in every aspect of their wedding.” It’s no longer her day, it’s Your (collective) day. Enjoy!
Colors: Most Grooms do not want to be in a sea of feminine, frilly, soft-pink and lacy surroundings. The colors of the wedding should be a representation of the Bride AND Groom. Three of my favorite color-combos for weddings (with a guy-pleasing masculine edge) are Navy paired with the softest pale green and ivory; Chocolate Brown with Deep Red and some sparkly “bling-bling;” and Taupe (deep and rich) with the palest of blue with hints of white are all the rage in 2009. Don’t just take my word for it, articlebase.com agrees with me – they also have other non-feminine combos.
Flowers: If flowers are not your thing, then don’t make a fuss about your involvement. However, although flowers may NOT be your thing – color and shape may be. Also, you know what looks ugly (to you) so you really should be present when choosing flowers (colors, styles, costs, shape, etc.)
Food: Of course, you and the Bride should have what you like – NOT what you think your guest prefer. I remember that a friend’s brother almost had Filet Mignon at his wedding (and he does not like the taste of red meat.) Why pay all that money for food you do not like – on your Wedding Day?? Please, have what YOU like, after all you’re paying for it.
Wedding Guests/Seating: I think it is ridiculous for Groom’s not be part of the seating arrangements. The Bride may not even know (know well anyway) the Groom’s extended family. Most wedding tables are set-up with seating for 8. A good idea is to have 2 pairs of family members for the Bride AND 2 pairs for the Groom’s side at each table. Each person (Bride & Groom) knows their families’ personalities best so they can say “hey, my two pairs would have a great time with your two pairs at this one table.” Try to place “singles” together and “co-workers” together irrespective to who’s on the Bride’s or Groom’s side. Seat the Bride’s Parents, Grandparents, and siblings together at a table as well as the Groom’s family at their own table – both near (or on the sides) of the Wedding Party table.
The Groom’s Attire: Why should the wedding dress cost YOU thousands of dollars and your tuxedo is a rented one for $109?? No, No, No!!! You should have a beautifully tailored suit or tuxedo with a modern shape so that you may wear it again. I would shy away from a stark white suit and would opt for more of a dark-colored one with colors of the wedding incorporated in (tie, cummerbund, etc.) Please – no coattails or top hats or tuxedo shoes. Buy a pair of beautiful shoes from a great designer that you can wear again and again. If you don’t already own a tuxedo, invest in one. For the price of two to three rentals, you can own your very own. It does not have to be an expensive one, just a nice-quality one with that you can have fitted to your body. Please, buy a hand-tie, not a clip-on bow-tie…you’ll thank me later. Just like the Bride is going to have her mother, mother-in-law, maid of honor, sister, etc., with her as she dons on her dress in the boutique, you should do the same with your Father, Father in law, Best Man, etc., (hopefully at least one of you has a good-eye for fashion)then spring for a nice lunch with them afterwards.
The Groom’s Cake: This one I just don’t get. If the Bride and Groom BOTH come up with their wedding cake (design, flavor, style, etc.,) then why would the Groom get a separate cake? Unless – the Bride came up with the Wedding Cake Styling herself and the Groom styled (to his tastes) the Groom’s cake…then it makes sense to me (but why have two cakes?) Studies show (…here I go…) that Wedding Cakes are ooh’d and aah’d but hardly eaten by the guests.
The Bar or Alcohol: It must be an open bar. A cash bar just comes across as cheap. If you cannot afford an open bar – do not have one. Two great tasting bottles of red wine and 2 bottles of white at each table are just lovely and much less expensive than an open bar. The cost will come out to about $50 a table, the bottles of wine being about $12 each (I have entertained with great tasting wines that were in the 12-15 dollar range.) However, if you buy cases of great tasting wines, then the cost is reduced lower to about $8 a bottle making it $32 a table (4 bottles of red & white @ $8 each.) An elegant touch is to have the wait staff uncork each bottle and pour the first glass of each guest.
The Day of: Why should the Bride get all the pampering? While she’s in the salon getting her face beat and her hair done, you can be getting a professional shave at a local spa (In NYC, I recommend The Art of Shaving http://www.theartofshaving.com/taos6/home.php ). You can also get help with your skin-care needs (look really refreshed at your wedding.) If you can fit it in, I also recommend a massage on the day of your wedding.
Hope this helps! 
